What Exactly?

                Last year November 11^th 2022 I lost a friend to death, a very close friend. Now it was not like it was a death I was geared up for, nobody expected it, it was not like he was sick and we were waiting. His death was a blunder… he drowned.

But the thing is, before his demise, I use to think that I had no fear for death, I confidently told myself that I had no fright for death but I was so in the wrong.

I had horror for death, a fear not for me but for the people around me. I didn’t know this until my friend died and I became instantly terrified from that day till now.

In the world we live today, I am terrified of the fact that I would still watch more people died, I am terrified of the fact that more deaths will still catch me off guard no matter how hard I try to prepare for it.

The day my friend died a new fear was unlocked in my life… for a moment I was angry I felt vulnerable to the same death I claimed to have no fear for but then I realized that, in my few long years on earth I have never had the smell of death sweep passed so closely under my nostrils.

I am more vulnerable than I had imagined, and I learnt that for me it’s hard to get over death.

I do not fear death for myself and if death comes for me in this mundane world, I would consider it mercy.  

In moments of profound thoughts, I had come to ask myself questions that I have no answers to.

What is the purpose of living? The basic principle of existence is procreation/reproduction for without it humanity will cease to exist. Then again I ask myself, if procreation is the base principle, what is the purpose of continuing the bloodline, what is the purpose of reproducing humans for generations and generations when in the end we all just die off and be forgotten? What is the point of the success and wealth and achievements if when we die we can’t even take them along with us?

What exactly is the point of everything?

What exactly is the point of life if it would still die and be dust?

What exactly?